TV reviews

Hello, River is the packaging. Season 6 is not an episode score yet.

Apple Slow Horses season 6 trailer sells an on-the-run blood bath and Olivia Cooke Sid return ahead of the September 16 premiere. Reviews grades the carton, labeled packaging, not binge math.

They sold a pulp Spider as a prestige binge. Cancellation is the finale.

Spider-Noir is dead after eight episodes despite a 92 Tomatometer, a 72 Metascore, and eleven Emmy nominations. I am grading the completed carton Amazon left on the shelf.

They sold a farm-system trio as a flagship. Bourgeois is the product. The chassis is the tax.

The Grand Tour's new hosts landed on Prime Video September 4. The critic stack says safe, charming, and still settling. I am grading the public notices, not inventing a Metascore.

They sold a TikTok life as eight episodes. The notices already say the clip did not stretch.

Earle Meets World drops all eight episodes on Netflix September 4. Rotten Tomatoes is still empty. Variety is not. I am grading the public carton from the reviews that exist, not inventing a Metascore.

You cannot review eight hours at nine. You can review the carton Netflix opened.

The Gentlemen Season 2 arrived all at once with Season 3 already stamped. Premiere morning can grade the packaging, not counterfeit a complete binge.

You cannot review Thursday's mask on Wednesday. You can review the toy Hulu is restocking next to kickoff.

Chad Powers Season 2 lands September 3 with all six episodes. Season 1's 60/53 record and the darker trailer are the only honest Wednesday grades.

You cannot review a Thursday drop on Tuesday. You can review the toy they are restocking.

The Gentlemen Season 2 lands September 3 with Season 3 already ordered. Season 1's 75/66 record and the new trailer are the only honest Tuesday grades.

Lanterns episode one is the rare premiere that kills the easy version of the show.

Kyle Chandler, Aaron Pierre, a Nebraska football town, and a last-minute time jump. HBO got the tone right. The twist is the contract.